Hi. Are you okay? I hope so. I hope you know that I’m here, and I’m listening.
I know lately you’re tired of crying through sleepless nights. Of always hoping, waiting and wishing someone was out there and give you light. Not many people would understand the way we are – that is the most horrible thing. Not many people would want to know the stories behind your scars. Not many people would care, really. They have their own battles to face.
I can’t promise you that things would get better, nor will I ever tell you that you get to choose your own path of happiness. This is a lie. You are allowed to be sad and weak at times when you have to; you are human and you are flawed, and no one expects you to be full of bright positivity all the time. Maybe things would get worse, maybe things would become more bearable. I know for a fact that some people, perhaps a voice in your head, would tell you that these things happen “for a reason.” But sometimes… they don’t.
I know the urge of ripping yourself apart is too strong, the world is gets too much to breathe in. The ones whom you could run to is never there for you the way that you need them. It is tiring, so very tiring, to not have anyone be there for you the way you were for them. People are always disappointing. These are some of the things that we simply can’t control in life.
But, and I hope you’ll hold on to this, there are some things that won’t let us down – your favorite song, the skies, the words you write. Perhaps these are the things you should go to when you need someone. It’s a lot better than blatantly talking to a wall and expecting a pair of arms to fall into in return. Those are just bricks, my love. They won’t give you the freedom and comfort you need.
So wipe your cheeks and hug yourself. Breathe. Today is simply a day. It would never pass through you again. Once you curl yourself up to sleep and await for dawn, you’d know that you survived this for now.
Maybe tomorrow, you can be braver. Maybe tomorrow, you can be better than what you are today.
Sometimes, we are not okay.
And that is okay.