A Month in the Philippines

Hello, darlings. I’m back with a montage-esque video blog about my one month stay in the Philippines. I didn’t do much, really (as evident from the video) because I was trying to focus on my mental health and getting back on my feet. The real reason behind my sudden vacation in Manila was because I wanted time for myself – time wherein I can recuperate and not have to deal with what is going on with the “real world.”

Jaime still had work during the entirety of my stay, so I was mostly just at home, spending time with Pancakes (whom I missed so much) and writing. I was trying to… live. And not the whole seek-adventure-you-only-have-one-life kind. The waking up, breathing, drinking coffee, writing, cleaning the house, cooking meals kind.

It felt amazing to simply be alive.

My 2018 was a freefall from a high tower to jagged thorns and edges on the ground. But I was glad to somehow end the year with a twist – I’m still here. And most of all – I’m okay. I’m honestly okay. I’m going to try and take it easy, breathe through the day, try to smile and take pictures (and videos!) more often. It took a while for me to accept that I don’t always have to live my very best life. That sometimes, just being here is more than enough.

I really need to be kinder to myself. I’m the only one I have against all these voices.


Cariza is a writer based in Washington, DC. If drinking coffee and writing sad poetry were a personality, it'd be her.